More work = Less work

by | Mar 6, 2018 | Empowerment & Encouragement, Relationship Help | 1 comment

So my last point about learning to be less sensitive is this.  Being an overly sensitive person takes A LOT out of you, and it’s not always worth it considering some of the people offending you.  Give yourself a break, and learn how to self -sooth when something is done to offend you.

There is NO point waiting for other people to figure out how to stop upsetting/offending you… It’s NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN… So you’ve got to make up in your mind that either you will continue to be the bleeding wound that is forever being hurt, OR you are going to find a way to toughen that skin of yours, so that people aren’t able to negatively impact you all the time.

How you talk to yourself, i.e. the things you say to yourself (in your head) when you become offended is KEY.  If you say something like:

  • ‘OMG…. I can’t believe Sally would do something like that… she is always doing things to hurt me…. she must not care about my feelings, and how her actions leave me feeling… I just hate people like that… why do I keep associating myself with people like her’.. and on and on and on and on…..

You can guarantee with the above style of thinking you will fall deeper and deeper into your negative feelings, and you won’t likely be feeling that great about Sally.

Instead of THAT kind of negative conversation with yourself you could think things like:

  • ‘WOW… ok, that comment/action really caught me off guard; I wonder if Sally knows how that sounded.  Once my feelings calm down a bit I will talk with her about how her comment/actions left me feeling.  I’ve known Sally for 10 years, and she is a kind hearted person who doesn’t intentionally hurt others, so I am confident this wasn’t done intentionally to harm me’

This second way of thinking will help you move past the offence MUCH easier, and will likely protect your friendship from a potential breakdown.

Over all it does take more effort on your part to do something new, but it’s well worth it if you’re tired of feeling upset as a result of the actions of others.

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